Things I Didn’t Know Until I Had a Kid

I know a lot of bloggers do these but I like reading them so I thought I’d make my own.

  • Inspecting every poop with zeal, horror and delight.
  • I would be afraid of terms I never knew existed before (rebreathing asphyxiation, nipple confusion, etc.)
  • So scared. All the time. Constantly checking to see if my child is breathing.
  • I obsess over things like napping schedule. How was she behaving before/after? How long was the nap? Where was the nap?
  • I actually think she looks cute no matter what she wears. Before I had her I’d get an outfit and be like, “Nah, she’d look dumb in this.” Actually, no, she looks fantastic.
  • It might take a really long time to make certain relationship connections like trusting my baby, wanting to be close to my Hubs again and that everyone else is NOT actually out to destroy my baby.
  • She’s going to get hurt occasionally and it’s going to KILL me. Especially when it’s my fault. Though she might forget about it in minutes, I will agonize over it.
  • Babies have different cry sounds and I know mine and what they mean (hungry, sleepy, scared).
  • Yoga pants (or as I call them, “pants”) actually make me feel LESS revolting.
    Guilt.
  • Baby crying is gruesome. I was told this, but I always thought it was because it was annoying and loud. In reality it is so terrible because it is heartbreaking, crippling.
  • My soul melts out of my ears and nothing in the world is good. I know if I cried like that I would not be ok. I would be traumatized.
  • Finally, yes, you will feel stupid amounts of love for your baby at some point that you say weird shit like, “I just want to eat your hair!” in the grocery store and people will look at you with trepidation.

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